This past June 18th would have been my brother's 41st birthday.  He took his life on December 24th, 2009 and is honor of his life I released a book dedicated to help open minds, in which I wish will continue to help prevent these tragedies and will allow others to heal.  This is the video that I posted yesterday in honor of September's suicide prevention month.  The topics covered affect everyone of us.  Please watch and help to share.  Thank you in advance.  If you are interested you can…

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My partner of 17 years died in our home, in my arms on June 10th.  I have never known such desolation, loneliness and heartache.  Her sons came from Mississippi, claimed the body, had her cremated and took the ashes home with them.  Never gave me a look back.  If there was a memorial or remembrance service  I certainly was never informed of it.  I come home to an empty house and walk from room to room and just don't know what to do with myself.  The mere sight of her belongings is painful…

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Q. I will attend a funeral in a few days and plan to join the procession of cars to the cemetery afterward. I’m curious. When did the custom of funeral processions start – and how much does a hearse cost today? 

 

     Funeral processions go…

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Wednesday I am having my first cataract eye surgery.  All of a sudden the tears are flowing.  Mike would always take me where I needed to go when I needed a ride and wait until I was done, regardless of how much pain he was in.  This will be the second time that I am having some type of a procedure since he passed away and all I do is cry because the love of my life is no longer with me.   The procedure is not a big thing but Mike not being there to hold my hand, talk to me or comfort me is…

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It has been 6 months and I am in such a rut. People believe that I should move on. I just want to cry and be still, curled up in a corner if I can, but life wont allow this to happen. I miss Ronnie even though I am so angry with him. I keep thinking about the things that made me angry that he used to do in hopes of not missing him so much but that doesn't work. He was my man for 15 years. My husband, my gift and now he's gone forever, never to return. How are we supposed to get over that.…

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My sweet husband committed suicide by shooting himself in head May 31,2013. He was diabetic for 15 yrs and had started insulin injections one week prior to this. He was on antidepressant Lexapro for 2 yrs or so. My father passed on April 23, 2013 and I had not been home much in the last year and a half. I would believe that I myself would do it (Which I NEVER would, especially not like that) before I could believe that he could ever be capable of tha t. There were no signs, warnings, clues,… Continue

How to write a sympathy note is a popular topic. As one friend explains, it’s very difficult figuring out what to say to someone dealing with such sorrow. The bereaved do appreciate the caring sentiment these notes convey and they play an essential role in communicating our condolences. While I agree that it’s important to craft a sympathy message that’s comforting, it feels as if there is too much emphasis placed on a written sympathy note rather than the personal extension of…

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Q. How often do widows visit the cemetery? I go to my husband’s grave, which is a 90 minute drive from my home, only once a year. I wonder whether others in my position visit  more often.

 

It’s only human to ask, “Am I doing the right thing?” However, frequency of cemetery visits is not a barometer of love for and devotion to a mate. In my own…

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Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW

Grief Intelligence: A Primer



For the past 25 years, I have worked with thousands of grievers. I have sat with widows and widowers, the young and the old. I have offered tissues to bereaved parents in their inconsolable grief. I have normalized, educated, listened to and championed those grievers who, through tremendous pain, still engaged with life.



In the decades since my book Transcending Loss was…

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Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW

Grief Intelligence: A Primer



For the past 25 years, I have worked with thousands of grievers. I have sat with widows and widowers, the young and the old. I have offered tissues to bereaved parents in their inconsolable grief. I have normalized, educated, listened to and championed those grievers who, through tremendous pain, still engaged with life.



In the decades since my book Transcending Loss was…

Continue

I feel you beside me in all my endeavors ,I see you in the sky ,your always putting pressure on my heart tugging on my soul images of you filling my head .

Not a day  has passed where i don't fight the tears that threaten to burst out at every thought .

They say everyone grieves in their own way i hold down the flood of tears i feel the lump in my throat , the more i hold it in the more it hurts .

I was never mad at you I never could be .I wish i would of understood you…

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It’s been a couple of weeks since NPR host Scott Simon sat at his mother’s death bed and tweeted her final journey from the ICU of a Chicago hospital to the great beyond. Yet there continues to be much discussion about the wisdom, respect, privacy, taste of those dozens of updates with his 1.3 million followers knowing her last and intimate life details – and Simon’s expressions of gratitude for her life, grief for her…

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It can be hard to know what to say to someone who’s experienced loss. That’s why it’s no surprise that friends, neighbors, colleagues, and community members often avoid the ill and bereaved for fear they’ll say the wrong thing.

 

Individuals facing loss need to feel they’re not alone and that’s why it is so important to make personal contact. I’d like to say it doesn’t matter what you say, but it does. If you say the wrong thing and offend those ill or bereaved, the…

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I answered  a blog from Jane p who was very upset when a group she joined told her that we are no longer husbands and wives when we pas.   I answered it but it concerns me that a lot of you might be upset by this.   I certainly was.   I receive a newsletter every Friday from Victor Zammitt who has ben researching the afterlife for 20 odd years.   Anyone can sign up for it and sometimes I read the blogs and sometimes they are saying things I don't want to hear and don't listen.   On this…

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Today, I would like to introduce you to a new word of which I just became aware, YŪGEN, and how it is applicable to grief.

According to the Urban Dictionary, yūgen is at the core of the appreciation of beauty and art in Japan. It values the power to evoke, rather that the ability to state directly. The principle of yūgen…

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I can still remember when I figured out the coins I found were because of my deceased father. It was about a year after his death and my then-husband and I took a trip to Florida. We were staying outside Orlando and dividing our time between Disney World and Ft. Myers Beach. The morning we were leaving, I walked out of the motel to put some things in the rental car when I spotted a penny on the pavement. Next to it was a hazelnut.

 

Growing up, we always had nuts…

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Wow its been awhile. 16 months now since my brother passed away. I suppose on a daily basis it is easier, but overall my grief is so strong and present. I find it hard to accept that I will not see him again until I pass too. Time doesn't seem to make a big difference where the heart and grief are concerned. I miss him everyday and would give anything to have him back. Some people told me 16 months ago I would never be the same. I am not and probably wont be. The bubble i was living in…

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