September 2009 Blog Posts (27)

Is There A "Right" Time To Stop Wearing Your Wedding Ring?

Many widow/widowers may wonder when is the proper time to remove an engagement ring and/or wedding ring and, after doing so, what should be done with them. The only possible response to this question is -- do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

As there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there is also no right or wrong thing to do with your rings or a time frame that needs to be followed. You may choose to wear your rings for the rest of your life, or you may choose to remove them… Continue

Added by Ellen Gerst on September 30, 2009 at 7:00am — 2 Comments

Greetings from the Center and Book Review: Loving Grief by Paul Bennett

My name is David Fireman and I am the director of the Center for Grief Recovery (The Center). We are a non-profit counseling group in Rogers Park, Chicago. Since 1985 we have been dedicated to empowering individuals, couples, families, and groups, to heal their lives. The Center was founded by Dr. Jerry Rothman whose older brother died in a hunting accident. The event shattered Jerry's childhood, and later in life, after receiving his PhD in education, and Master's degree in social work he… Continue

Added by David Fireman on September 25, 2009 at 11:00am — No Comments

Sadness

I found this site by accident. I was just browsing along the web trying to find someone who perhaps I could talk to. I lost my baby my son this August. He was my cherished son, my best friend. He was a kind and loving child and a wonderful father. How can I continue to go on. I am also ill and when I stress and suffer, my pain becomes worse. I would take all the pain in the world if I could have my son back. Now he's gone, I can't stop thinking, wondering, why? I have faith in God, but I still… Continue

Added by Pat on September 25, 2009 at 10:08am — No Comments

Are you empathetic or sympathetic?

The words sympathy and empathy are often thought to be the same, and yet they are distinct expressions.

In times of death, we often extend sympathy by sharing our sorrow for what’s happened. Sympathy cards are usually synonymous with condolence messages. When offering sympathy, we’re expressing concern for another’s feelings. Cards, notes, phone calls, e-mails, meals, and offers of assistance are all expressions of sympathy.

But you don’t offer empathy, you feel it. Empathy…

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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on September 24, 2009 at 10:00am — 1 Comment

Missing Poppy(The Bad, Bad Leon Brown)

It's been a lil over six months since Poppy passed and some days like today, the tears just won't stop. He would have been 90 years old on Sept. 9th and I just miss him so much. However, I know that He's resting with no more pain and discomfort. He was the "Bestest Dad this side of Heaven" Rest in Peace Dad.

Added by Quilena Brown on September 19, 2009 at 11:22am — 2 Comments

Please

Please talk to me.

Added by Bobby on September 18, 2009 at 7:04pm — No Comments

Been since june

Still crying, Does this stop?

Added by Bobby on September 18, 2009 at 5:19pm — No Comments

Who's in charge when I die?

If something happens to you, who watches over your health care, finances and other important matters?

No matter your life circumstances—whether you’re young and raising a family, or elderly and caring for yourself—you have plenty of responsibilities. For example, you make decisions about your health care (selecting doctors, choosing treatments) and handle financial…

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Added by Melanie Cullen on September 18, 2009 at 10:30am — 1 Comment

Bradley Gene Glore 12/17/74 to 9/11/09

Brad was born on 12/17/74 in GA and he moved to St Petersburg FL when he was a child. Brad and I met and fell in love in 1993. We were married on 2/14/94 and had our first child Zeric Liam Glore on 10/8/94. Brad became sick and had two heart valve replacements done in 2001. We also lost our second child Bastion Glore at birth on 5/29/01, six months later we were apart. He moved to California in 2002. Brad past away from heart failure on 9/11/09. I loved Brad very much and my heart aches for my… Continue

Added by Angelique Glore on September 18, 2009 at 10:24am — No Comments

How to Write and Deliver a Special Eulogy

Q. So many public figures and other important people eulogized the late Senator Edward (Ted) Kennedy at his funeral that it’s hard to imagine what a friend, who is an ordinary person, might say in such a situation. How can you eulogize someone in a meaningful way in the company of a “star lineup” of other speakers?

A. I was asked a similar question when I was interviewed on the national radio show “The Michael Smerconish Program” a few days before…

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Added by Florence Isaacs on September 17, 2009 at 12:00pm — 1 Comment

Loss of only grandchild

My "normal" life came to an end on August 25, 2009 when I lost my precious grandson to SIDS. I feel that as a grandparent people do not understand that we grieve not only for ourselves but for our child as well. How do we help our child and grieve for ourselves as well. I find myseld being strong for my daughter when inside I am broken. I appreciate anyone who has been through a similiar circumstance that can offer any encouragement. I feel as grandparents we are not allowed to grieve....

Added by Rita on September 16, 2009 at 7:52pm — No Comments

My Dad's Eulogy

My dad lived a good 82 yrs of his life on earth. I find it hard to write his eulogy because I feel like he hasn’t left the building.

Every time my brothers and sisters get together with my mom for comfort, strength and support, we wind up laughing and talking about dad and his goofy and unique ways.

Surely we cry in sadness because we miss him already. We know that it might take some time for us to see him again. We cry because we have a strong physical connection with… Continue

Added by Maria van Olphen on September 16, 2009 at 7:26pm — No Comments

A Letter From A Bereaved Child to His/Her Remaining Parent

When one loses a spouse (and in turn a child loses his/her parent) the depth of the grief may be so profound and the pain so deep, communication between the survivors may falter. Consequently, parent and child may each have a hard time really hearing what the other needs.

I would imagine, if a child had the wisdom to recognize his/her actions for what they truly are and the words to express his/her emotions, the following might be what would be said.

Dear… Continue

Added by Ellen Gerst on September 16, 2009 at 7:00am — No Comments

suicide

do not call it suicide!
I firmly believe that one has a right to decide that it is time to go. people have a right to decide about the beginning of life- altho much debated. When a person has no more to live for - only to suffer pain and loneliness. why not be able to say "did everything I wanted" I want to say goodby on my own terms, in my own time. GOODBY IS NOT SUICIDE!

Added by edna lavey on September 15, 2009 at 5:56pm — 1 Comment

Helping a child deal with loss

I saw Billy Crystal in his one-man show “700 Sundays” and was deeply touched by his personal story. He relates how his father’s untimely death at age 54, when Crystal was 15, set him apart from his peers and forever changed him. He tells of looking in the mirror shortly after his father’s death and seeing a man instead of a 15-year old.

Crystal’s story resonated with me because I share the same legacy; I was 11-years old when I too lost my 54-year old father. When Crystal relates…

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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on September 15, 2009 at 2:30pm — 1 Comment

losing son #2

i lost my oldest son 10 years ago july 3rd, 1999 in a car accident. i took me almost 5 years until i could remember him without crying. now i can remember special moments with a smile.

october 24th 2008, i lost my youngest son to complications of diabetes. his blood sugar dropped to 0 and he was found hours later. we had him on life support for 2 weeks, but the dr.'s and tests gave us no hope. we took him off life support and he passed to heaven peacefully. it is in conceivable that 2 of… Continue

Added by barb tomlinson on September 15, 2009 at 11:19am — No Comments

Suicide

my mom almost committed suicide...she rented a car and was off to Chicago. she took all her medications with her. before she left her home town she booked a flight to Sin City. she said she knew she was going to sin. there was a lot going on in our family and she was going crazy. she said she couldnt handle all this stress so she was going to end it. i was about 13 years old when this was taking place. i knew deep in my heart that my mom wasnt going to die that night! i called her and called… Continue

Added by Andria on September 13, 2009 at 5:25pm — No Comments

How do I move on?

My husband of 37 years died unexpectedly from sudden death. I found him collapsed on the hood of his boat, and did chest compressions until the medics arrived. We had so much life left to live. I don't know how to be a widow. What do you do to move forward? Linda

Added by Linda Ripley on September 13, 2009 at 7:09am — No Comments

Keep in mind

Everything happens for a reason. No one knows every reason. My grandpa died just recently. It was the hardest thing for me to deal with. I dont know how to cope with all my stress. It seems like its just building up and waiting to burst. I wish there was another way. I wish i had one more moment with him. But i know i will someday. I will have all the moments in the world. You never know what you have until its gone. When its gone in situations like this it doesnt come back. You have to realize… Continue

Added by Andria on September 11, 2009 at 11:44pm — No Comments

My Mother's Day without my son:

My Mother's Day without my son:

I was thinking of you my son today,

And how painful this mother's day is without you,

To have lived through the death of my child my son YOU

When that was never the way I saw any of my mother's day to be without you

my son.

On this Special day when children honor their mother…

Though you are not here to tell me Happy Mother's Day MOM,

I look at cards from Mother's day… Continue

Added by Twila on September 9, 2009 at 10:40am — No Comments