It's been 2 years and four months since I laid you to rest, Jaret.  As all my friends here know from their own journeys of loss, not a day does not pass where you are not on my mind.  I sleep in your bed with your blanket wrapped around me, when I wake, I wonder if you hear me snore.  I love you so much son, I am surprised to still be here after all the pain and loss you're leaving left us with.  I look at your pictures everyday, my screens are covered with the memories of you, and seeing…

Last September marked the first fall where my life was not consumed by Jaret's hockey. Each year before that, he and I were consumed by things like, where is he going to play, how many sticks do we need to buy, what shape were his skates in, everything that each parent goes through with their son or daughter in August and September. I loved it.

So with Jaret no longer playing hockey, instead choosing to go to school and begin working towards a career (and staying close to his love,…

Grief is such a terrible thing.  So selfish sometimes to feel grief, I feel guilty at times feeling so despondent over the loss of my son, I can't imagine truly terrifying feelings he must have had before his final moments.  Despite the logic in me telling me there was nothing I could have done to save him, I still feel that I failed him as his father to keep him safe.  Oh if I could just hold him again and kiss him and love him. 

People say that time…

Sometimes words don't seem enough.  I miss you for instance.  It conveys a feeling, without really capturing the emptiness I feel in my heart, that part of me that was you. 

I saw a man thanking the Lord for the 9 years he had with his daughter.  He danced with her one last time, and asked God to tell her "he did his half of the dance."  I cried.  How could our Father give our lives so much meaning and in the blink of an eye, take it all away.  People find solace with not…

I hope you are resting well.  I am scared with each passing day, my memory of your smile and laughter become more distant.  I miss you with all my heart, I love you Jaret.