I called yesterday afternoon and found out my sister has been released from the hospital. I have no idea where she is. It was 15 degrees last night and we had our first snow/ice storm. I could not sleep last night wondering if she had no place to rest her head. I had a dream that she told me to buy a book on suicide (which is odd because I actually ordered one online yesterday). I woke up feeling very, very sad. I can't concentrate at work and am only doing a half day. I can't handle this…

Still no word from my sister. I called the hospital again yesterday and she was there. I didn't ask to be transferred to her or anything, as she asked me to not communicate with her after that call on Monday. I am sick to my stomach, thinking about what she is thinking. Today is Thursday, which is 3 days after that phone call I had with her. Is she still thinking about suicide? Do these thoughts make her scared? Do they make her sad? Is she at peace with her thoughts of suicide? Do they…

My sister called the other day saying she tried to kill herself again. She's in the hospital again. I am not sure how many times this year this has happened, but it makes me ill. She said once she is released she is ending it all. She can't take the pain anymore. She kept telling me in the phone call that what she is doing to do is nothing against me, but to help her. SHE is making a decision for her and nobody else. She ended the call in a somber way and said her phone would be shut off. I…