Kat's Blog (4)

Children and Lost Loved Ones?

I haven't wrote on here in a long time.  It's been 2.5 years since my brother's suicide and even after so much time passing it still feels unreal.  I have graduated college without the presence of my brother and had a daughter without Uncle Matt here.  My boyfriend has a friend named Matt and it seriously killed me to call him Uncle Matt to my daughter.  It kind of slipped out of my mouth and hurt so bad after I had said it.  I still miss my brother everyday and wonder where he would have…

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Added by kat on December 12, 2011 at 12:33am — No Comments

Hopelessness

I think after my life turning upside down, and everything normal turned into abnormal, I think totally different now. I know before I used to have bad days, but robotically went through life to get to this point that I thought would bring me "happiness". My brother killed himself, because this place... either just gets further away, changes destinations, or when you reach the desination it isn't what you thought it would be. Hopelessness. This mental knowing that nothing will ever be calm and… Continue

Added by kat on June 13, 2010 at 1:43am — No Comments

Another life lost...

Working at the hospital, especially in ICU and trauma ICU, I come across suicidal/suicide attempt/suicide succeeded patients and family frequently. I've only been able to talk about my own loss with patients/family a couple times, literally twice. I wish I could build myself up more to make a difference in someone's life and try to show them the light at the end of the tunnel or offer support in someway. This morning is one of those mornings that I can't decide whether to step out of my comfort… Continue

Added by kat on June 12, 2010 at 5:03am — No Comments

It's been almost one year...

Over these last few months, I thought I'd finally gotten to a point where I was finding myself again. I haven't cried in months and been able to switch off my thoughts of you when they tried to consume me. I think with the aniversary of your death approaching this Thursday, I am unable to get you out of my mind. It still hurts so bad. You left me, and mom and dad. I just wonder if you knew everything that has happened since you left, would you have made the same decision? Do you still think the… Continue

Added by kat on May 25, 2010 at 3:00am — No Comments

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