Well babe, we've almost made it to the six month mark. I can't believe its almost been half a year! These past few days have been tough, but i've noticed your signs.... And I know your still here for me. I'm not sure how long the pain lasts, it may never stop... But I do have good days, and lots of happy memories. I ran across the worldcup bracket the other day, while I was packing... Didnt realize that just a little piece of paper could hurt me that bad :( I remember talking shit to you,…

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Wheew, the holidays are finally over... I don't mean to sound like such a scrooge, or negative nancy (is what you would call me LOL) But goodness they were tough. So many times I sat there starring at the Christmas tree, imagining what we would be doing right at that moment. Day dreaming about what the future would have held for us. The stories you would have told, after getting back from CIS school. I'm getting better, don't you worry. The tears don't come as often as they used to, or… Continue

Wow, babe... What a great weekend!! I had the best time spending Christmas with your moms and family, and even got to meet Kevin and his wife. They were so great, wish you could have been there, but I understand you were tied up with higher matters. I wanted to say thank you, for my Christmas wish. When I walked out to my car and it immediatly started snowing on me... WOW, I guess you did love me unconditionally. It meant sooo much to me, and even though you couldn't be with us, I swear I could… Continue

WOW, December has been a tough one.... I feel so guilty that I havent visited you all month, its been extremely hard, and dont think I haven't wanted to. Alot has happened since my last note to you dearest, my boss had a talk with me. Thank goodness he is giving me a chance to prove myself, the question is am I whole hearted in my attempt to keep my job. The kids are still staying with their dad, for now so i can get back on my feet. Not to mention Christmas shopping is a joke right now.…

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It's been three months and still.... My life doesn't make sense, when men talk to me I get nauseas in the stomach, my mind races, I constantly stay busy. I know if you are looking down on me right now, your probablly saying "calm down beavis". Everytime I close my eyes, I see you laying in that casket. I can't delete your text messages, can't even listen to my voice mails. I can't celebrate occassions with my friends, and get jealous when they talk about their significant others. I wish on… Continue