Debbie's Blog (3)

In Kentucky

I'm here in Kentucky for the week. I miss you so much it hurts. I keep wanting to pick up the phone and call you just to talk about the little things. How much snow there is outside, how Sam, their dog, is finally warming up to us. How I can't wait to get back home, and how I wish you were here. I am so sad I can hardly breathe. I read all the posts from people who are grieving online and they are all pretty much the same. No hope. Sometimes in my darkest times, I think it would be better for… Continue

Added by Debbie on February 16, 2010 at 10:45am — No Comments

Day 14 - Two Weeks

It's now two weeks since you've been gone. Two weeks ago, right now, I was anxiously awaiting the results of the bronchoscopy they were doing on you, hoping to find something in your lungs that was preventing air movement. They found mucous plugs and got them out, but even in that last ditch effort, nothing seemed to work. I was praying for a miracle that didn't happen.

Now, I alternate between numbness and pain. The pain when it comes takes my breath away. I miss you so much and I… Continue

Added by Debbie on February 12, 2010 at 3:40pm — No Comments

My life without Bill

I lost my husband, Bill, eleven days ago. He had surgery to remove lung cancer, became septic and passed away from septic shock. Nothing the team of doctors did seemed to help him. They tried, no fault there, but he just kept getting worse and then one day he was gone. My days and nights were spent at the hospital feeling helpless and doing nothing but trying to will him to live. That didn't work either. Now, I'm left trying to figure out how to go on without him.

Added by Debbie on February 9, 2010 at 1:57pm — No Comments

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