I came here because it will be 5 months in a couple of days since John died and instead of getting better it is getting worse. It is as if I died with him. I was always a happy person that saw the silver lining and had faith. Now I am never happy and have lost my faith in God completely. I have 4 great kids and if it wasn;t for them I would not have made it thru this far. But, they have their own lives and I can't live my life thru them. There isn't an hour in the day that I do not think of…