Years ago, it was easy to feel socially connected. You knew your neighbors and all the tradespeople. When you did your errands, people knew who you were and probably knew your family. When things got tough, word spread that someone in the community was sick, hospitalized, or died. When you moved throughout your day, people had an inkling of what was going on and asked about you and your family. Maybe someone mowed your lawn or shoveled your snow; casseroles appeared and you and…

When bad things happen, it can be hard to know what to say or do. So it’s not unusual that many of us struggle over what we’ll say and how we’ll say it. We might spend a great deal of time crafting written messages when communicating with those facing loss, carefully choosing the words to use and the method of delivery. Or we might compose verbal messages, hoping they will convey our heartfelt sympathy.

So what happens when you write appropriate messages or verbally…