A young woman who was eight months pregnant gave birth to a stillborn baby. Overcome with grief, she called her supervisor at work and requested he notify her colleagues by e-mail so she wouldn’t have to individually tell her devastating news. It seemed a simple request, but when she returned to work, she learned her supervisor did not notify her colleagues and they were each stunned when she painfully shared the news. Not knowing what to say or do, they avoided her and she felt shunned and…

The Unitarian faith is a practical religion that believes in economy. Most members cremate their dead and they hold memorial services that are a celebration of life, scheduled at a date convenient for the family.



Their memorial services are personal with favorite music and readings. The families are very involved in their planning and they often share funny and poignant stories of the deceased. Attendees are invited to participate so if you knew the deceased and have a story to…

What is it about a miscarriage that makes it so difficult to say the right thing? Women who miscarry report that they’re frequently the target of callous and hurtful comments that dismiss or trivialize their loss. While the list of offenders includes friends, colleagues, and medical professionals, the worst culprits might surprise you; often family members, especially their own moms, mothers-in-law, sisters, and sisters-in-law.



Here’s a list of what you should NEVER say after a…

We honor the deceased by making donations in their memory. Many obituaries designate a charity or fund selected by the family, but what if the organization is one you’d prefer not to support or worse, in conflict with your values? Do you donate anyway or ignore the family’s request, making a donation to a charity or cause you support? And what if there is no indication of where to donate? How do you choose something appropriate?



Ask yourself, "Why am I making the donation?" Is it to…