Staci Smith's Blog (4)

im getting worst

I want home and saw Shane for the first time since he die and i was not ready and now its was like i cant get out of bed or i just want to be alone and next month on the 4 makes one year. and now people are think i need to move on when i just want to be alone. i cant go on i give up on everything that we wanted. i dont care about be alone its living without him, i always was aloner so going back to my oldself. my family thinks that im going nuts and i need to move on. i try to blo it off…

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Added by Staci Smith on September 9, 2013 at 8:20pm — No Comments

how do you live without out that person?

i hate my life without Shane things arent the same and its just geting worst for me. im so unhappy and its only been 6months and i feel like im dyeing inside and i dont care anymore about anything. how do you live without someone that you grew up with and has been in your life over 21 years and was your first love and your bf hell your everything in live how do you live without out that person? 

Added by Staci Smith on April 24, 2013 at 2:29am — No Comments

feeling sad is not the same as feeling or being guilty

This Sunday I went to Sea World with a group of friends for my 30 brithday and I was having a great time but when it start raining I got sad and all I could was think about Shane and I guess my friend saw one because one even asked if I was ok or not. I was but rain make me sad Shane die on a rainy day. One of my friend that was there told me that I need to stop feeling guilty for having fun Guilty what I feel is not Guilty, I know I have to live my life without him, but when your with…

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Added by Staci Smith on April 16, 2013 at 5:04am — 2 Comments

This week is my brithday

This week is my brithday have 21 years Im not going to see Shane or even get a phone call. We planed do go FL and go to all the parks but here I am now living in FL and Shane' grave is back in NH we were going to be in Texas now. what 6 months can do im now alone and dyeing inside and everyone is telling me that he would want me to be happy. Ok I get that well what about what I want I want him and I know I cant have him so why sould I be happy just like  …

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Added by Staci Smith on April 13, 2013 at 11:01am — No Comments

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