I don't even know where to begin...so much has changed since I last wrote here.  The hardest part is that My Bunzy isn't here to be a part of or share in the changes with us.

Well, one of the things I've accomplished is an Associate's Degree as a Medical Administrative Assistant.  I would have never gone to college if it weren't for losing Tom.  We were married right out of high school and Tom always took care of me.  I had been a stay at home mom and small daycare provider since we…

Continue

Hey Babe,



Happy Valentine's Day! It's such a lonely day here without you. Well, everyday is lonely here without you.



Last year at this time, I was so desperate to be at the cottage in Old Forge just to feel you and remember our last Valentine's day there. This year, I feel different. It's like I'm numb to all this Valentine's day hoopla. I haven't paid attention to the ads or commercials. I've ignored any special sales. It all seem so insignificant without you here. As… Continue

Here we go again...another birthday down.  I cannot believe we have made our way through a second birthday day without you here.  The emptiness and loneliness do not seem to go away.  If I had one birthday wish for you it would be to have our wonderful life back so that we can finish living out our fairlytale and finally have our true forever.

I will love you ~Always and Forever~

 

It is always such a relief when the holidays are over.  I really would love to ignore the holidays and skip the tree and the presents, but my kids would not appreciate that and it would not be fair to them so we have decided to have a tree that honors their dad.  We have basic lights and balls and the only real ornament is a remembrance ornament of Tom.  The…

Continue

Well, today would have been 26 years for us..Amazing!! I can't believe that I have been without Tom for over a year. Life just keeps moving forward and I am just along for the ride. I am not sure I can keep up. I am just existing in this life. And as horrible as it sounds I am waiting for the time when we can be together again. Everyday is a countdown. I know that sounds so pathetic. I have our kids, and a new granddaughter, Lilyanna Tommi, to keep me going, but GOD how I miss my love!!!

I… Continue

[ Draft ]I can't believe I have really made it through. All the firsts are over and done with. This year has gone by so fast, yet it feels as if you have been gone forever! I miss you so much, babe. There are so many "if only's" that run through my head...If only you didn't roll the sled, if only you came home earlier that day, if only you had never gone snowmobiling we wouldn't be in this place today. We'd be living our lives the way we always thought we were meant to. I miss what was yet to… Continue

Another first over and done with. I so missed having Tom here on his birthday. He should have been 45 today, instead I consider him 44 and holding...forever! He will never age, he is going to look just the way he looked when he left us...I won't be able to imagine him with white hair. I miss the possibility of that. I wish I could watch him grow old along side me. That is the way we always thought it would be...how naive of us to believe we had forever.



I love you, my Bunzy!!! I hope… Continue

This still seems so unreal. It's been 4 months and it seems like forever that Tom's been gone, but then again it seems like it was just yesterday that he left. It depends on the moment. Spring completely passed me by and already it seems like summer is half over. I still live the "what if's"...what if he never went riding, what if we could just go back, what if, what if. I know I have to live in the moment, but there is nothing I want more than to have our old life back. I miss Tom so much, I… Continue

Tom and I had been married 2 months and 9 days short of 25 years when he was suddenly taken from us. We have actually been together for 27 1/2 years. We started dating in high school. He was a junior, I was a senior and yes, I robbed the cradle by 3 months and 29 days (I would never give him the satisfaction of saying 4 months). He used to tease me all the time that I was a whole year older because my birthday was the year before his. Of course, the early years were a little tough just trying… Continue

On March 5, 2009 my husband and a friend went snowmobiling...one of Tom's favorite past times. There was nothing unusual about this except the phone call at 5:15 that afternoon. It was Jason saying Tom had somehow flipped his sled and they were airlifting him to the hospital. I really thought they were kidding around trying to play a joke on me.. BAD JOKE!! But, as he talked I realized he wasn't joking...my comment to him was "You aren't freaking kidding me are you?" What a comment. Jason kept… Continue