I found my mother last Sunday deceased. I was her primary caregiver after the nursing agency that came in to care for her everyday. I am the youngest of three children and have repeatedly been told over the last week how strong I am and how I will not have any problems getting through this be cause I am strong. If I hear that word used in reference to me one more time I might start pulling my hair out. Because people continue to tell me that I feel bad when I start to get tears in my eyes so I fight them back, when people call I just tell them I'm fine/good because that is what "strong" people do they handle everything without complaining or letting on that they are not as strong as everyone makes them out to be. I just would like to be able not to call one more person and tell them my mother is dead or have to cancel one more service that is in her name. I would like for someone else to step and do it but because my sibilings do not have a clue about mama's stuff I am the one having to do it all. I just would like to take the time to grieve but I can't. I just have no clue how I will make it without her calls and encouragement and way of giving advice without judgement. I am lost!