This still seems so unreal. It's been 4 months and it seems like forever that Tom's been gone, but then again it seems like it was just yesterday that he left. It depends on the moment. Spring completely passed me by and already it seems like summer is half over. I still live the "what if's"...what if he never went riding, what if we could just go back, what if, what if. I know I have to live in the moment, but there is nothing I want more than to have our old life back. I miss Tom so much, I miss the normal everyday things...kisses good morning, hugs when he got home from work,the security I felt just having him here and the confidence that he gave me to accomplish anything. We had the world at our fingertips and now it's nothing more than a black hole.