Dearest Doug, I know you are out there soaring with the Angels and at peace and feeling no more pain physically, emotionally, and you don't have to deal with worldly things. God is good. One piece of the puzzle I am so lost and confused about is what happens to me ...you see the day you looked in my eyes and squeezed my hand and suddenly took your last breath, a part of me died too. My death  wasn't  completely whole, it wasn't and never will be peaceful without you...it is full of pain, emotional, spiritual and now ironically, God's sense of humor added physical pain too when two months after you let a lady drive her SUV over me pinning me with a CRUNCH under her vehicle and then no less, I guess she panicked and backed off of me, CRUNCHING me again. OH God ...I waited for you...I screamed your name and you were there. You kissed my forehead and told me my time here was not finished yet. My arm and leg had an SUV tire on me and I didn't die...WHY??? I miss you so much and haven't the energy to face more uphill challenges without you...but I realize...you are here, so why do I feel so alone? I spent two months in a hospital in a pretty critical state and loads of surgery, they did an inside amputation of my right leg in order to keep my entire leg. Took out the muscle, nerves and tendons. They don't grow back. I have nerve damage in my left leg and right leg so learning to walk again is not pretty or easy for this Kindergarten Teacher that danced on tables and loved life in action. My left arm and shoulder were crumbled from the tire and I am held together with metal rods and screws and PAIN .You would be proud to know I am working on learning to use my arm and hand again...range of motion, etc...God's sense of humor again...I am left handed. I write to you daily and pray it will get better. I am home and friends visit about once a week, bring food, and take me to the MD. I just cry and wish for you to hug me one time and let me know that everything will be alright. I love you Doug.  You are my shining Star.

See you  when it is God's time for me.

Love Eternally,

Ellen Your Soulmate....