I am so sorry for your loss.  I haven't lost a child but I was there with someone I thought of as a very dear friend when two of her children committed suicide and one died of a drug overdose and when her husband was killed.  I even gave her one of our family plots to bury her daughter in when she committed suicide.  I just pray to god you can look thru your grief/deal with your grief in a more positive manner than my friend did to me.  She started texting my husband and the texting led to more inappropriate behavior and text messages with neither one of them caring about my feelings and what would happen when they got caught with does always happen sooner or later.  Sherilyn Sowell threw him away like a piece of trash after I caught them.  Now I grieve not for a child but for the loss of a husband and a fake friendship