I'm lost

I Lost the Love of my life on Thankgiving day of this year. I feel so lost, we had so many plans for our future and now that's all gone, not a day goes by that i don't break down and cry for the loss of him. I Loved him with my whole heart and I know he felt the same way. Sometimes i find myself wanting to call him or expect himto come home at night. The day he died they let me hold him and i laid my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat till it stoped, as he took his last breath i begged him to take me with him, but ofcourse i didn't get to go with him. I dread christmas coming and also that new years eve kiss. If i could go to sleep and wake up when it's all over i would, but of course everyone tell me how i have to go on and there's a reason i'm still here, but i sure can't see the logic in that since half of me is gone forever

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Comment by judy on December 18, 2009 at 6:05pm: thank you, i hate the holiday too, if i could go to sleep and wake up and they where over i'd be very happy. I only go on because of my kids because if it wasn't for them i wouldn't care what happens to me. I don't see time ever healing the ache i have everyday that he's gone, sometimes i feel i'll wake up and he'll be here next to me and all will be right with the world

Comment by violet la pollo on December 11, 2009 at 10:24pm: my heartfelt sympathy for you judy,I wont say time heals all wounds or he is in a better place who has ever been there to tell us how much better it is .i hate the holidays as I buried my husband on christmas eve 2007 nothing ever can take that heartache away but judy you have children who need you and you must somehow find the strength to make it through the holidays for them.no one knows what you are going through until they to have to cross that path.MAY GOD BE WITH YOU VIOLET