December 19th was the worse day of my life. I got a call from my ex-husband telling me my son was dead. My son was my life. He has 2 beautiful children that i adore and struggle to see because of his ex wife. My son was loved by many but was troubled inside. I saw that in him and worried about him 24/7. He lived here in NC for the past past 5 months trying to get his life together. He missed his children so much he wanted to go back to NJ to be with them but ex wouldnt let him. John was only 33 yrs old. We are not suppose to bury our children. We still dont know why he passed. He is on my mind every minute of the day. I'm trying to cope but it is so hard. How do I GO ON WITHOUT HIM?