It's now two weeks since you've been gone. Two weeks ago, right now, I was anxiously awaiting the results of the bronchoscopy they were doing on you, hoping to find something in your lungs that was preventing air movement. They found mucous plugs and got them out, but even in that last ditch effort, nothing seemed to work. I was praying for a miracle that didn't happen.

Now, I alternate between numbness and pain. The pain when it comes takes my breath away. I miss you so much and I can't believe I am still here without you. I need to be strong for the kids, and it is so hard. I live hour to hour these days.

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