I lost my sister on December 18, 2009 to a year long fight with ovarian cancer. Jan was my only sibling and even though she was 6 years older than me and lived across the country, we shared a great bond. She was a confidant, mentor and a giver but to me she was also my "big" sis! I was there at her passing but still have a difficult time in understanding that she is gone. I never saw her that often because of the distance, but we did have a lot of marathon phone conversations. Just this weekend I wanted to talk with her so bad; exciting things happened at my work that I wanted to share. I called her phone number and it was disconnected (which I knew) and that night I had a vivid dream that I saw her in a casket looking so pretty. I woke up crying; my daughter says that shows she is still with us! I am going thru some heavy grieving; my "growing up" family is all gone now (my mother and father passed over 10 years ago) and I feel so lost.