The worst day of my family's life Oct 29,2009. I was at work and received a call from my 16 year old Ryan: "Mom you need to come home NOW there are police at the door, it's about Adam!!"

Adam had not come home the night before and was not answering his cell phone. This was not an immediate cause for concern:as an independent 19 yr old he had done this type of thing before and always spent the night at a friends house......

Somehow my motherly instincts had not registered any red flag warnings during the night. I had slept.
As I made the short drive home (less than 10 minutes) I checked in with the universe and the voice in my head said "He is not dead", over and over as I drove.

It was the coroner's office at the house, and although they did not say the words to my 16 year old, he knew, his eyes were already red when I got to the door. My body shook but I did not cry as they said Adam is deceased, we found his car at the bottom of a mountainside resting in a dry creek bed.
They are towing his car up the mountain as we speak.

Still in denial I said: then how do you know he is dead?

"He was ejected ma'am" "His body was found a few hours ago, near the car".

I was in shock, Ryan began to cry, my cell phone rang, it was my Ex husband. All I could do was blurt out "He's DEAD" as my ex asked questions. Not kindly or tactfully just "He's DEAD" you need to come home. Ryan called my husband, Adam's step dad as I talked to the coroner. "I want to see my son!"

"You can't see him until we do an autopsy and transfer him to a funeral home."

The nightmare from which I cannot awaken had begun.