This is an excerpt from my blog that I wrote about my son. The post was written on March 13, 2009. I have been marking each moment since his death. I cannot believe it has been seven months.
Today marks seven months since Nickolas has left us. Every day I stand in Nick's room and I look at his pictures and I cry. I play his music for him and hug his clothes. The other day I wrote this on Nick's dry erase board:
Nice and neat Nannerpus
Incredible and intelligent
Caring and cool
Krazy and kind
Ornery, yet overflowing with hugs and love
Loving, laid-back, and loyal
Awesome and admirable
Sweet, sincere, & stubborn
We love you Nick. We miss your beautiful spirit, your smile, and the joy you brought to our lives every day. We love you so much...Mom, Dad & Sara.
"I think I am beginning to understand why grief feels so much like suspense. It comes from the frustration of so many impulses that have become habitual...I keep on through habit fitting an arrow to the string; then I remember and have to lay the bow down." ~C.S. Lewis