Hello everyone my name is Celeste and I'm new to this discussion board. I recently lost my son Gary suddenly at the age of 15. I havent joined any groups or anything,but as I was reviewing my son's obit page I discovered this blog section and after reviewing some of the discussions I found out that i am not alone in this painful walk. My son passed away on Feb 21st.2010. He was fine that whole day all he wanted to do was clean his grandfather's carpet. Before I dropped him off that evening I stopped to get him something to eat and at that time he told me I was the best mom in the world. What a great feeling to have your child tell you that. I answered him and said no I have the best kids in the world. I also have 4 other children. What happened is I was at work that night and he called me saying that he really couldnt breathe well I asked him did he take his inhaler with him, and he said yes. I work in an emergency room so I then asked him if he wanted to come and stay here over night so he could have his treatments he replied "no I just wanna go home get on my breathing machine and go to bed" so I was ok with that. About an hour later something came over me to call and check on him, my youngest son said that he(gary)was in the bed and that he didnt want to get on his machine and that he was sick, I then said "take him the phone, as I was talking to him on the phone, I could hear him in alot of distress. I immediately hung up the phone and ran to my car to pick my son up and bring him to my job. I pulled up in the driveway about 15 mins later and told him to come on we have to go he could barely walked he asked to get on my back I only made it with him on it to the top of the staircase. So he made it down the stairs and to the car with the help from me and my oldest daughter who is 14. Gary is my oldest. So as i'm driving and talking to gary as he's breathing heavily I say that were going to mommies job, and he immediately says "mom can we go to children's were not going to make it to your job" I panic and start running red lights we get there in about 5 minutes. I run into the ER and grab a wheel chair garys plops out of the van and into the wheelchair once inside they bring us right around to the back and tell gary to stand on the scale to be weighed, he moans and grumps that he cant make it onto the scale so I help him up as I pull off his coat he was so clammy and sweating profusely, so he plops back into the wheelchair and as I look upside down at his pulse ox (meaning oxygen and how much air he's getting into his lungs) I thought it read 92 which means he definitely needs a breathing treatment, but it read 75 oh no I said as we immediately was running towards the trauma room. Soon as I pulled the wheelchair up to the table gary went limp, I picked him up like he was a baby once again in my arms at that time his body went completely limp, and as I placed him onto the bed his eyes rolled back into his head. Oh no I said to myself this cannot be happening as the nurses and doctors are coming from every direction with things to make him better as I shook him that last time he then had a tear roll down his face, and I immediately ran out of the room screaming as I knew that he was saying goodbye to me with a single tear. Oh how my heart aches and the pain and void will not go away. I miss my boy sooo much and easter was very hard for me I couldnt do anything but cry even when I didnt want to tears would constantly fall from my eyes. So here's a mother with a broken heart as well.

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