it has been eight and a half months since my very healthy husband died unexpectedly. everyone here somehow helps me know that what i am going through is what i am supposed to be going through. the coronor that dealt with my husbands death said that grief is real and we have to feel it. we have all had our worlds turned upside down and for most of us that is not what we planned. i have decided that the "one day at a time" theme is a good one because that really is what life is all about no matter how much we plan. i am also reading a book about embracing the feelings of grief, saddnes, despair, etc because they are just as real as the happy feelings and we need to feel them in order to move throught this journey of grief. when i feel not so good i try to just go with it. life is a journey and we don't really know how it will all play out. when i have good days i try to enjoy them. hope this helps a bit.