Please read my page and leave a comment about my situation. Am I being inconsiderate of my husbands family by taking time to create a memoral service that he would have wanted with thought and meaning behind it? My circumstances are explained in more detail on my page. His older brother and step mother are pressuring me to do a hurried up service to get it over with because they feel I am taking too long. He suggested I agree to a service at his Methodist church and have his minister do a service and have what I want to do later. First of all, my husband was baptised Baptist, he has never been to his brothers church and never met his minister. We were not church goers but we both believed in god and we know people in our own circle of friends that have knowledge of the bible, including ministers and sunday school teachers that will gladly speak of gods word at his service that I am planning. He is his brother and has helped us tremendously financially during this journey, but as far as my husbands spiritual disposition in the last twenty five years of our marriage I really think he has no knowledge. Second, I feel if we do that no one will come to the memorial cause they will consider the goodbyes and condolences done. His death we knew a possible risk with his treatment but he had done so well with everything else we were sure he would come thru like he had the whole year. We had such a positive additude we didn't make arrangements ahead of time. His complications were a bit of a shock. On top of having to get my life back in order after being away for nine months and away from my job is not an easy task under normal circumstances. I have many issues due to things going on in my own family that is hard to explain but has left me with alot of responsibility to attend to due to my parents health issues that were neglected while I was away and issues with my house that did not get attended to that deem it not suitable for dwelling. And most if his family is aware of all this. The minimal policy I had thru my work to pay for his memorial will take me three weeks to have access to also. Maybe I shouldn't let all that stand in the way of closer but I would feel horable if his death was finalized with a sort of simple The Lord is my Shepard, he was a nice guy, you'll be missed, and see ya in heaven one day. That would be like wham, bam thank ya sir, was real while it lasted. His younger brother agrees with me, his aunt is O.K. with it. The rest of his family hasn't even bothered to call me. I had a funeral director tell me some people take several months before a memorial is performed. But my brother-in-law seems to think that's ridiculous. So here I sit pondering and stressing over if I'm doing the right thing instead of consentrating on getting anything done. So tell me what YOU think or what YOU would do!

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