I recently, well three days ago lost a friend who was in a car accident. Joey was such a funny kid. He was always the smartest person i ever knew and and the same time did not use his head. He apparently was going 100 mph down a street and a lady with a infant in the car went to pull into a private street. She was driving a SUV and Joey was driving a honda crx. He collided with her head on and the SUV did a 360 and at the same time Joeys car continously spun around and slammed right into a poll and was ejected through the front windshield. It is just so sad because our friend Jesse commited suicide march of last year and Joey was the one that helped me cope with the loss. Without him i would have killed myself. But now that Joey is gone i dont know what to do. I have had four friends now die and just cant handle it any more. I really need some advice as to how to cope. I am only 16 years old and having friends die is the hardest thing to deal with.

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Comment by Peace on January 14, 2009 at 10:29pm
Melissa, Hi!, I am an "old lady" to you but to me, I can put myself right back to 16 years old believe it or not. My friends and I were very close. To me, I felt closer to them because I was an only child and they all had brothers and sisters. I have big problems now too so it doesn't matter what age you are honey, things happen. One thing I have learned is, over the years as you get older and graduate from school, some of your friends will go off to college and some will get married or move away, maybe even you. As bad as you want to hold on to your friends and you think you will and I thought all of us would, you stay "sort of in touch" but not like when you are real young. You will make it. Your hormones are going crazy for one thing and it makes everything harder to deal with. If you think you can't deal with it, do you have parents or siblings you can talk to who understand you? If not, you can feel free to write to me. I am alone and miserable. I had my life very together until a few years ago so I'm not weird or anything. I go to a therapist. You can go too if your parents have insurance to cover it and if they don't, you can go to one who is covered through Social Services in your County. Your school counselor can tell you what to do. Please don't do anything dumb. Your life holds so much ahead for you. You never know what it might be. Try to take long walks in safe places where you can get your head straight but just tell people where you are going so nothing will happen. Do you have a dog you can walk? That is always helpful. I know all of this sounds really weird but it's not. Trust me. In just a few years, your life will change so much. Can you get a little job outside of school so you can stay busy and not concentrate on your problems so much? Something you like to do where you can meet some more friends where everybody hangs out? Maybe a pizza place or whatever? Maybe a movie rental store or something like that? It would be good for you to not have too much blank time for thinking about negative things. Try to think about Melissa as selfish as it seems because Melissa has a future. Take flowers on the week-end to your friends graves and talk to them. Nothing expensive, just pick some somewhere, legal of course. Take a stuffed animal or something. Just sit and talk and maybe play their favorite song to them. Feel like you did your good friend thing for the day and then go off and think about Melissa so you won't end up like them. Do it for you. You never know what is in the stars for you one day. You've got to hang around. If you plan it right, it will be something good. Don't wish evil on yourself please. You can be anything you want to be I promise. One thing I might add, if your friends are driving too fast like most all young people do and testing out the waters which is not smart, don't get in the car with them. I can think of things I did back then and I look back and think, I can't believe I did that. None of us got hurt but it's a miracle. Your friends are watching over you. God has a plan for each of us. You know that don't you? We don't understand the way he works but he does. In the end, our end, it will all come together. Maybe God needed Joey to do something special in heaven. Did he have a special talent? If Jesse had gone to a therapist, it's a good chance Jesse would be here too. Really, try the therapist, they are very nice. If you don't like the first one, try another one until you find the one you do like. Okay? Write anytime.

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