My whole life has changed since 1996. During this time, well, it's very difficult to explain because I became very ill in a very strange and unusual way. But, it caused me to lose everything I had established my whole life, my reputation, my home which I loved dearly, my personality, myself, my husband. Actually, I was walking around with more than a nervous breakdown but only a couple of people could tell. I knew it. Then my dear Father, whom I was very close to passed away in 1999 at the age of 93 suddenly. He lived in my home with my husband and myself. I was the "Suzy Homemaker" type prior to this. I was 43 at the time and we had no children except pets. We had dogs and a hand raised goat. Anyway, the month after my Father passed away, I was diagnosed with melanoma. I don't even think I realized what was going on. I was running to doctors for my condition, the nervous breakdown brought on by a dietary supplement taken over a long period of time, then I had the surgery for melanoma. I didn't have to have chemo or radiation but since then I have still not been able to get my health back. I am so depressed over everything. I moved clean out of town to another city. I am an only child who is now 55 years old. My Mother died when I was 23 of lung cancer. So, all of these years I had to depend on advice from girlfriends. Now I don't trust anybody because they all watched this happen to me and didn't get me any help or tell anyone what was going on. One in particular knew but didn't say anything to my husband or Father. I was totally out of control. Since then, I have had several surgeries to remove other skin cancers but they were not melanoma. I also had during that time two surgeries to remove endometrious and fibroids which were very large causing my back to ache. Now, I have to take 5 psychiatric medicines every day because the original doctor sent me to a psychiatrist but I really needed to go to an endocrinologist because the supplement had my hormones out of whack which in turn caused me to act out of character. People should have known because you don't go from a life of "Extreme Suzy Homemaker" to "Wild and Crazy" overnight like I did. My now ex-husband who I worshiped finally divorced me and I can't say I blame him from my actions. He is not a doctor and he did not understand what was going on with me. He does now but it's too late. Too much has happened. He does still help me out some but it's only minimal. So, I go to a psychiatrist, I take 5 medicines a day, I'm on disability but didn't have the 20 quarters in the last 10 years you need to collect regular social security even though I was working, (my business was operating at a loss so when my ex-husband did the taxes, he didn't pay into social security), but I had worked just about my whole life. Now I am on welfare which is a very far cry from the life style I lived when I was married. I have definitely learned another side of life which isn't the worse thing that could happen. I do a lot of sleeping from the medicine and depression and I see no future at all. I have been totally abused both verbally and physically since this all happened and prior to this, I would only hear of that on tv. I have seen dead animals in my home dead because of other animals being out of control as well as other people I was surrounded by. I used to dress perfect and my hygiene was perfect. Now I don't bathe like I should and I certainly don't dress like I should. I sleep in my clothes for days at a time. I have taken two overdoses of pills twice but never intended to die, I just needed to make it clear to someone I couldn't stand my life. My relatives, who are now just cousins, have treated me terribly and done something terrible to my aunts which I could never forgive them for. Both aunts are now also dead. Everybody is gone. Everybody is lying to me and trust is a big issue. I don't think I have ever heard of anything like this before in my life. I try not to dwell on this but it's everywhere I look. I had a very large antique collection and it's had to be sold off and what wasn't sold, my ex-husband's first girlfriend stole and sold. I went and found it and the police in two different districts did nothing. Someone broke into my house and stole my Father's gun collection and nothing was done. It's just all one big nightmare. I'm sure I could go on and on but this is enough right now. I'm tired and sleepy but just had to get this off my mind right now. Thanks for being there.

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