My brother Joey passed Dec 20th 2003 he hung himself in my mom & dads backyard, We were so close best friends. We played in that tree every day as little kids we loved that tree, He left no note I wish he would of left a note, My mom found him and had to cut him down. I lost my brother at 21 and my mother she is alive but only living to die. Then my sister Chrissy OD last year June 2 2009 we were also very close. At times I am fine then I have days or weekends when I cant stop crying I look at others like why cant I just be happy part of my soul is gone. My kids keep me going but it always makes me think what if my babies think as my brother did it drives me crazy. The "IF" if I would of answer my phone that nite when someone called I still to this day swear it was my brother what if he need me to talk then he be here. If i said something at my Moms when I seen him walking away from me to his room. if that tree was not there, if he never did drugs I drive my self crazy. I sit and think about how could he be so sad to sit in a tree and jump to his death. I miss him so much his laugh, smile and his yelling. I seen him my dream one time and thats all I ask why didnt you think of the kids he loved my girls or his son he said I did thats what kept my alive for so long but I was tried Angel.