okay.. it's been awhile since I've been on here.  I still can't believe it's already been a year and 37 days.. I feel like all I'm doing is watching life .. I do what everyone expects but thats not really living.  I can hear my dad asking me " what do you want mama ?"  and telling me not to worry about anyone else.  Baseball season is over... didn't really watch a lot of games during the season ( I had a hard time ) Football season is here... or as my daddy would say COWBOY season..

I've talked to my cousin and she says that it's not that it's gotten easier.. I've just gotten better at coping..  but have I ???  I dont really think I have

 I talk to my daddy all the tim.. Espesially when I'm by myself. I think that everyone would just look at me weird..  I hate being told "why are you crying ???"  I just wanna say "duh... I just miss my daddy "  and I have a right to feel that way..


I listen to songs that remind me of my daddy. Next month is his birthday and that will be the 2nd one without him here.... what are we going to do??? I still don't know... I haven't even thought about thanksgiving , my birthday and christmas and new years.... IDK sometimes I just feel soooo LOST


Maybe my daddy will come to me in a dream tonite... I hope so 


luv you LOTS daddy

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