I guess I'm stuck in a time warp because it has been 8 calendar months since the best man I have ever known died suddenly from a work related "accident." That should be long enough for me to realize I won't be seeing him walk through the door ever again. He won't be needing any of his things that have been left untouched since the morning of August 26, 2010. Regardless, my soul longs to be with him and waits impatiently for the moment we can embrace once again. My hearts grows more weak with each passing day. Photographs of him seem as the days that have passed- both distant/long ago, and at the same time they transport me instantly back to when we were together- a time & place that is more believable than the present. Over the past 8 months I have transitioned to a different person. Nearly all my daily patterns have changed. My eating habits, sleep patterns, friends, spare time and goals have all changed significantly; some for the better, some not. I am here, existing, seeking to die or live again one day soon. This grey area between the past & future leaves much to be desired.

 

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