Oh, Amy here it is my 4th birthday without you here to celebrate. No phone call, no card, no nothing. Well, not exactly. It is also going to be grams birthday on sunday the 12th and Aveena's on the 13th. Send some hugs to all. We miss you so much.

I still have days that just suck and its hard to go on. Dad is on meds for a little bit cause he is worse than me at times. He is not working and it has hit him hard that as each day goes by, you are not coming thru that door anymore. He is talking about retiring soon by 59. If we can get thru with the limited income, he will do it. We got this far, we will just have to work hard at it.

I want to tell you thank you for the lucky penny I found with the year 1987 on it at the casino thursday night. I ended u winning $500 free play within 10 min of finding it. Of course we spent it and got up to almost 200 in cash tickets. Ended up with about 100 or so. not bad I guess. We need to stop gambling, but its the only thing that gets me out of the house. We ordered pizza today and then later dad got me a pumpkin pie and ice cream instead of a cake. I just have a hard time celebrating anything anymore.

Well, it's time for desert. Just know that we have to find a way to be thankful we had you for 21 wonderful years and try not to dwell too much on losing you cause we know you are here somewhere watching over all. I know you would have loved all the gadgets and internet and phones that we have now. Maybe you can learn how to send messages we all talk about thru one of them.

Keep shinnig down and give hugs to grampa and all that are with you.

LOVE MOM AND DAD AND GRAM MASHER TOO.

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