my husband passed away from pancreatic cancer diagnosed july 2011 died aug 2011--i cannot function, i also fake it with my sons and co workers--i cry while im driving home all the time, i not getting any better, not eating right, not taking care of myself--and i dont care if i dont wake up tomorrow--i thought i was stronger than this-but his death has destroyed me and the loneliness is overbearing--linda

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Comment by Linda Jeffrey on January 6, 2012 at 8:13pm

I am so sorry for your pain.  I have been widowed three times, and it is harder now that my children are growing up and leaving home.  You are stronger than death.  It will not destroy you. I pray to the One who has conquered death. 

Comment by Seeking Forgiveness on January 3, 2012 at 1:16am

Dear Linda...

I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my father (aged 54) to pancreatic cancer in June-2000, and was widowed at 27 years of age in 1993, so I can somewhat identify with you.

I wish I could take the pain you feel away.  I felt the same way when my husband died.  The only thing that kept me going was my 3 boys, aged 11, 4 and 3.  I can remember waking up every morning, opening my eyes, and realizing that it was NOT A DREAM...

Then I got my kids up, sent them to school and cried most of the day away.  My husband died in September and I decided to wait until after Christmas to have a nervous breakdown, as I didn't want to spoil it for my children  On new year's eve, an old friend that I hadn't talked to for a long time called me to wish me a joyous new year and to tell me that he still loved me.  I don't know if he knows it or not, but that was what pulled me up from the depths of despair.  Just knowing that someone else loved me...even though we were miles apart.

If you want to talk more...Please feel free to email me.

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