Since i did better last year with christmas i thought id would be easier each passing year. It isnt. It sucks. My emotions flow. this year was not pleasant for weeks. COVD really didnt help matters. I dont miss the chaos of my brother drinking at xmas, but god i miss him. I dont know if i ever wont. Life has gone on. Im well, life is beautiful. this part seems so hard.  I get to help others not end up like my brother so that is a blessing in itself. Happy 2021 All