Suddenly lost my brother,cardiac arrest due to drugs.He was 45, very generous & funny. My family, including myself, always had in back of our minds,that this might happen one day. Well, Can't believe it happened. My brother didn't think he had a problem. Over the years the drugs got worse,until we recently found out he started doing heroin & crack. He was single, & lived that kind of life. Started to get difficult to be around him, it just wasn't fun anymore,& every time u would bring up, getting him help, it would not go well!( feel so guilty about not being more demanding...)Keep asking ourselves why he would do this,was he unhappy? Keep asking a million other unanswered questions! Will we ever understand???

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Comment by Marsha H on May 8, 2013 at 4:56am

Michele ...  I hope you and your family are listening to everyone because it's true there was nothing you could have done to change your brother's lifestyle. Believe it or not drugs of all sorts are accepted just as much as beer or hard liquor at some parties.  You're brother was living life to what he thought was the best for him and thought he was invincible.  He probably did enjoy life ... the one he chose for himself.  You are most welcome and I am so happy you are coming back to this forum.  We all understand grief and are there to help and pick each other when one is down and out.

Take care


Comment by Michele on May 7, 2013 at 8:04am
Thanks so much Marsha, gonna read the link u sent. Yea, everybody is saying there's nothing we could of done. Just mad that my brother didn't realize how good his life was; great family, he just moved to myrtle beach with my parents & got an apt.on the beach; thought that would have been a new beginning for him. Well, thanks again, I'll keep posting,I think it will help!
Comment by Marsha H on May 7, 2013 at 5:16am

Michele ... I am so sorry about the loss of your brother.  No matter if it's a disease or drugs even if we feel that something terrible will certainly happen we are still shocked when it does.  Here is a link that will help you understand why some people do drugs (#1 reason ... it makes them feel good; creative and the center of attention such as being fun to be around such as your brother was.)

Like alcohol or any other drug it is the person that has to admit they have a problem and often they feel they are in total control of themselves.  There is nothing the family could have done to prevent your brother was from taking drugs as it was his choice.  He was aware of the risks, but like everything else people enjoy including over-eating; over-weight; smoking, etc., people never think death will find them.  The unfortunate thing about many drugs is that the 'highs' start to wear off and the person taking that drug will either take more or find a new drug that gives them a better high.  You and your family could have demanded all you wanted, but what would have happened is you would have alienated your brother and he would leave and not come back.  He chose his lifestyle and more than likely because the drugs made him feel good and it doesn't mean he was unhappy or depressed.  For those that don't take drugs it is difficult to understand.

I know the grieving is raw for you and your family right now, but please, don't feel guilty as no one could have helped your brother.  Please read the link I left and it will help you understand why certain people take drugs.

I hope you continue to keep posting to get you through the grief process as there are so many wonderful people on here. 



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