Grief, loss, dying death crossing over they all mean the same thing. We come into this world knowing we are here but a short time and then people say our real life begins. my faith and sense of reality have been challenged again. Ive lost alot of cherished loved ones in my life. Its been over twenty years since i lost my grandmother, now i think of her fondly and cherish all she taught me. I feel her presence at times when im working at my nursing job. Now after only a month today after losing my aunt i dont even see or feel an end to this pain. its there when i wake up a heaviness in my heart at the knowledge she isnt going to be there when i go home. I know i have to be patient with myself and be strong and it will get better. People dont like a downer. I dont feel the same, sometimes i feel like a zombie i feel like a robot. I know all these feelings are normal. I know there is a place for all of us someday. I am secure in the knowledge i will again see her someday and meet all my ancestors that went before me. All that love is waiting for us. In her honor i will change my life and live my life with a stronger purpose and show gratitude to all the people i love in my life. even my enemies. This i take from her passing and this i will hold to my heart. pam on the one month anniversary of her passing to the other side.

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