This is the first place I have put my feelings out for all to see since Chris, my husband, best friend, the love of my life, my world, committed suicide. I can't begin to express what I'm thinking or feeling. My world has been ripped apart and the man I love and who always made everything right has gone.
I witnessed my husband commit suicide. I will never get that horrific image out of my head.
I love and miss and desperately want my husband back. I don't know how to be without him. I will be 26 years old the end of this month and I was with my husband for 7 years. And at the same time I unabashedly hate the person who killed him... And those people are the same person.
I am being ripped apart at the seams by my conflicting emotions. I cannot see the good without feeling the horror of the bad. So I am shutting down emotionally, and I know that that is bad and will only make things worse in the long run.
If anyone has experienced what I am going through, please contact me. I desperately need to know that there is life and happiness and love after this......