feeling sad is not the same as feeling or being guilty

This Sunday I went to Sea World with a group of friends for my 30 brithday and I was having a great time but when it start raining I got sad and all I could was think about Shane and I guess my friend saw one because one even asked if I was ok or not. I was but rain make me sad Shane die on a rainy day. One of my friend that was there told me that I need to stop feeling guilty for having fun Guilty what I feel is not Guilty, I know I have to live my life without him, but when your with friends that ones on the phone with his grilfriend and you are a newlyweds dont tell me that im feeling guily at Sea World.

  Feels are hard to deal with but is it wrong of me to look at one of my friends that is a newlywed but they are Navy so they have to shipout sometime and she acts like he is died. She makes me look Shane's at work and I'm just waitting for him. My friend talks to her husband like 24/7 even when he gone but she acts like she never going to see him again. Now I would be fine with that because I was like that with Shane  I miss him so much :( but she one the people that tell me that life will go on but her life stop when her man is gone for 24 hrs. Then she tells me she knows just how I feel. 

     Why cant people just ever just say something like thing .........

     Hi Staci, how it going anything at this point but its been 6 moths and I'm still and hell and people dont get that but they still loving that question or saying, but when I give my answer I get dont you think its time to get over it. 

  No but no really most of all I hate my life without Shane we were going to grow old together we already had 21 years down. so if I want to feel sad every singal day of the week 4ever I will wish they would that because I know I have to live but my other is died that means apart of me is too and no one see that I wish they wouls.  

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Comment by Jeff Justus on April 29, 2013 at 7:39am
Staci, I feel for you and your loss. I lost my son almost 2 1/2 years ago...and like you, he would have been 30 years old on May 31st. My son was born in Portsmouth NH but we moved to Ohio when he was 4 years old. I really want to go back and visit but memories of him in his youth just keep me away.
I know that it's hard to believe but it actually gets easier to deal with once the shock of your loss resides. You'll always grieve because you loved him with all your heart but you'll fill the loss in your heart with the great memories you shared. Take care!
Comment by Frank Andrews on April 16, 2013 at 7:51am

Staci,

  Your friends are young and they do not really understand what the loss of a spouse means to you and most do not want to even go there because they have to think about death and their own mortality. Most do not know what to say to comfort you and just give the usual answers. It takes someone on this forum or someone who has lost a spouse to fully understand where you are at. I believe that you will eventually be able to move forward with your life but you will always miss Shane and he will be in your heart always. By the way, wishing you a "Happy Birthday" too even though it will not be the same without Shane. Try to enjoy whatever good moments life has for you.  Hugs to you.

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