September 2nd will be 3yrs I lost my son Richard. I know some people say it should be getting easier by this time. For me this is the hardest reality is starting kick in and I can't believe my son is gone I will never see him hear his voice again and I can't accept the fact he is gone and I think its because I had no time to really grieve for my son. Since my son died I went through a lot with my family and marriage that caused me so much pain and I kept it inside because I needed to stay strong for my kids. I miss my son so much my son kept me strong I hold everything inside sometimes I just feel like giving up but I know I can't I have my other kids and I love them all so much and they need me. I feel like going to a home so I can get help to deal with everything I been through but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do. This year feels like I just lost my son for the first time and I can start to grieve now but I need some kind of closure my heart can't start to heal until I do when my son died I found out threw facebook we were waiting for him to come home we were celebrating my birthday that night but my son never made it home Richard died 2 days after my birthday now I don't celebrate my birthday...I don't know if I will ever accept the fact my son is gone... Don't know what to do