grieving husband

my wife was killed 4/5/2010 in car accident.i had my wife for 28 years . the reality when your go out alone and come home to empty house is more than i can handle .i should not say empty house because she left me the cats and dogs and horses but without her there it's not the same . i miss her more than i can explain or describe . i wish i could say something that would help others in my situation because i know the key to helping self is helping others but i am too tied up praying for help for myself . i have a lot to be thankful for and i know God has already helped me a lot and i know i must start helping others and stop feeling sorry for myself but the reality is i can't do it right now . i am selling or renting whichever happens first my house and moving away which financially is a mistake . also moving my business which is financially another mistake but i simply cannot stay where i am because my primary motivation for everything was my wife and now she is gone . i am like a ship lost at sea in need of a lighthouse to point me to a new home because without my wife i currently have no home only a house full of memories i cannot bear to think about .

David

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Comment by david on June 13, 2010 at 4:28pm: thank you Virginia. i not sure what my wife would want me to do .that's a hard call because she loved our home but like me not fond of the neighbors and the conduct of some of the neighbors after her death confirmed her opinion of them . i only know one thing for sure and that is she would want me to keep all our pets and take care of them and i will . 2 horses/ 4 cats / 3 dogs . because it's a buyers market now one does not have to be rich to move to the beach and if it was just me i could easily move to the beach which is a long time dream . all i know for sure is life is short . i been asking myself what would she do if i died and i think she would move away also . you have to understand while our house is small it sits on 10 acres and it's a lot for 2 people to try to keep up much less one . on the other hand maybe she would stay right her . i just do not know . also the accident happen a mile from the house on the same road the house is on which is another reason i do not want to continue living here

again thank you for your comments and advise.

Comment by Virginia on June 13, 2010 at 11:13am: David, I truelly am so sory for your loss. I hope you don't do anything right now as far as life changing changes that you might not be able to undo or regret| You are in such a earley stage of the grieving process and in so much pain and disblief and lost that you think you will go crazy. You say making a move both living and business wise will be financially a mistake? Then you must ask yourself this. WHAT WOULD YOUR WIFE WANT YOU TO DO ???? I would venture to say that what you have in both is what you and your wife worked for am I right ? Please I beg you to stop and think, as you said the house is full of memories, is it that you want to be somewhere that doesn't remind you of your wife or do you think being somewhere else is going to take away the pain ? if you think it will take the pain away I'm sorry but it won't. David go to your DR. if you have one if not find one,I am at 13 and 1/2 months since I lost the love of my life and soulmate of 32 yrs. it has taken this long to finally get to where I'm not crying everyday I got so bad I was very much histerical and needed help med. wise. I tried to do it without them but as you said you feel so lost and unsure what the future holds, everyone is different and grieves different but at this site we are here for each other as we are all in the same ship you are on, lost at sea. Stay here with us write if you feel like it or just read different peoples post you will find we are all feeling the same and some in different stages of the grieving process. God be with you and give you the strength you will need on a dailey bases. write me anytime,Virginia