Wheew, the holidays are finally over... I don't mean to sound like such a scrooge, or negative nancy (is what you would call me LOL) But goodness they were tough. So many times I sat there starring at the Christmas tree, imagining what we would be doing right at that moment. Day dreaming about what the future would have held for us. The stories you would have told, after getting back from CIS school. I'm getting better, don't you worry. The tears don't come as often as they used to, or triggered as easily. I can feel my strength getting greater every day. I just remember how positive you were, how much you loved life and it makes me want to get up and push even harder. I am not the same person today as I was before the accident, and I have to admit its really difficult trying to figure out exactly who I am again. I am very blessed to have gotten the chance to spend part of my life with such an amazing man as yourself. You showed me what a great woman I could be, and am. You also showed me what I deserve in a man, and quite frankly I will never settle for anything less then that. I had given up on the ideal of love, and never believed in fate... Whole heartedly. I knew it was out there, cause I seen it in strangers. But surely I would never get that lucky, but I did. I think the hardest part is not having my best friend here to talk me through this, support me, and motivate me to move on. I know I have to, and with each passing day I will. No matter what the future holds for me, I will never forget how you impacted my life. You will always hold a special place in my heart. It's a new year babe, and a time for new beginnings. I know I am a great, strong, independant woman and I will get through this. Your family and friends are doing well, and WOW how awesome they have been to me. Your mom has really been the core of my strength, she is an amazing woman, and BTW I finally got to give her that pat on the back for raising such a great man. With a support group like the one I have, theres nothing too great for me to overcome. Well, as much as I dont want to I gotta go.... I will write again, you take care, and you... I love ya :)

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Comment by Theresa Sweaney on October 21, 2011 at 12:24am
I lost a son, rather than a husband.  Your blog letters to your husband are really beautiful, and your inner fortitude and growth are very evident.  It gives me hope to read letters such as yours.  My son died in May of this year, but already I am much improved from where I was even a month ago.  I have started seeing a counselor, and it is a good fit for me, and doing me much good.  Keep keeping on like you have been, and even though your letter is meant for one special person, it impacted me to read it, and gave me hope.  Thank you:)

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