Hi Baby
It's Momma
You have been gone for a few months now, close to a year and a half. I miss you so bad. I would give anything to have you home again. My life is seriously empty with you gone. I don't feel like I know who I am or should be. I try to keep my mind occupied, I can't think about you to much sweetie.Since you died, I have fallen apart, and I need to find even keel again, and can't do that if I focus on you and how much I miss you and want you back. I guess sometimes I'm still in the bargaining stage. What could I give up to have you back? I would give my life baby. I would in a heart beat die, so you could come back to our family, and your daughter. I'm 46 today. You kids our young, and you have your life and your family. Me and Dad, we know you guys need us, but we are kind of alone now. We would do anything so you and your families could have half the wonderful life we have had.You hurt us bad. We want to feel normal again, but don't think we ever will. You put a black hole in the center of this family, but you did it on purpose and none of us know what to do now. I know that wasn't your intention, but thats what you did.I survived once before, but not undamaged, now with you, you haven't put my body in the ground, but pretty much my soul. I'm tired and if it weren't for your wonderful Dad and your brothers, I'd be so gone. Trying to be with you
I love you Baby. Still can't figure out how I'm going to live the rest of my life without you

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Comment by Theresa Sweaney on September 24, 2011 at 8:44pm
I cried my heart out reading this, Teresa.  I connected so strongly with it, because it echoes the cry of my own heart.  I'm still not able to write to Charles like this.  All my thoughts and emotions are still so jumbled.  For that reason, I think, it is so cathartic when I read others' writings.  All the best to you.  Theresa

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