How can we hope when there is no hope?

The death of a loved one can be brutal. The grief that follows is draining – emotionally, mentally, physically – and can seem neverending. Eventually, somehow, people do get through it.


But how? How do you go on when your mother, father, sister, brother, husband, wife, child has died? How do you hope when hope seems impossible?


Earlier this week, a former high school classmate of mine died at the age of 35. Daniel's death was not a surprise – he'd been battling brain cancer most of his adult life. Though I hadn't seen him in many years, I felt an overwhelming sadness at his death. He had defied the odds again and again, inspiring his friends and acquaintances with his strength and determination, his love of music and life. For me, his death seemed to reinforce the sad truth that sometimes, no matter how hard you fight, you lose.


But as I've contemplated his life and death over the past few days, and read through the messages left online in his Guest Book and on his Facebook page, I've come to realize that the strength of character that defined him in life has not diminished. Daniel was amazing, and will continue to inspire everyone who knew him. As another classmate put it, "One day, when my two children face great adversity, I will say, 'let me tell you about my friend Daniel...'."  ~Jessica,


To help you as you grieve for a loved one,'s loss experts offer advice to help you cope – and hope when there is no hope.


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Comment by Terry Whinney on April 30, 2011 at 10:53pm

Hi. Im commenting on , How can we cope when there is no hope? Death is so unnatural to us, because life was instill in us, death was only introduce after the first sin had been done.  We were created to live forevery and be happy.  When we loose someone we love so very much, Its seems as tho there is no hope for us to move on. God promises at Revelation 3:4,  that he will wipe out every tear from there eye,s and death will be no more and no more pain and suffering for things will be of the past and that there will be a resurrection' of our love ones. Please read that scripture and have hope.

Comment by Carlo Cacioppo on April 19, 2011 at 3:14pm
River of tears, nicely put.
Comment by on April 19, 2011 at 3:12pm

Dear River, thank you for sharing. You are so open and thoughtful, and you've given me a lot to think about. "Hope is a learning process" strikes me as particularly wise and profound. Thank you for sharing your hard-learned wisdom, and for contributing in such positive ways to this community.


Comment by River of Tears on April 19, 2011 at 6:50am

Jessica what a beautiful tribute to Daniel . As it now he and actually you too as a friend  can touch all of us .  In just being present in his life then and now as when ever someone reads about him.   A loving gift .

I often have thought about how do hope when there is not hope since my Sister , Mother ,Father all passed away .   A journey not one I ever wanted to take , yet one I had often thought of even when very young as to think of them not being here on this earth to live and have a wonderful life .   Yet this became a reality much sooner in all of our lives then any would have thought or hoped .  Yet again the word " hope " now a word that seems to have a bit of a taint on it when it .  As to when ever to hope especially when all them just were to pass I could not stop the reality of what was going to happen .  An expectation I put on the word to take care of all that I could not .    So hope right now is a learning process one that I may never have again as trust is not apart life right now .   But to say if to see this moment of what it offered in just reading what you shared then it filled that area of loss with a hope of another .  

 Even  to see hope in others or witness it still this will always be a beautiful thing to me as I truly believe it is out of ones beliefs and heart .  I ever to have it again I wonder if I will trust it or know that it is even there or just ignore it because I so scared that if to hope again what happened as with my family could happen again .  I guess this is apart of the learning process and struggle of the deep pain .   




Comment by LegacyConnect on April 15, 2011 at 8:58pm
Thanks, Carlo. I appreciate the feedback!
Comment by Carlo Cacioppo on April 15, 2011 at 10:11am
Nicely and warmly put once again Jessica.

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