how do we go on

This is hard to even tell our story but I think it will help to talk about it, so here goes. On may 30th 2014 we dropped my husband off at work at 7 am , as we're walking out the door to meet him for lunch his mother pulled up to let me know he had passed. At about 10:15. My husband and I have been together for 18 years. We have 4 young children as well as his older three with his ex. I see them all as my children, they have a loving mother, they have been such a huge part of my life for so long and I love them to death. Our kids are 5,6,8,10,18,20,&21. It is so very hard to explain the pain and feelings we are all going through. He is the only man I have ever been with, my best friend, the love of life. The best dad to our children. I don't know how to continue breathing every day, our whole world changed in that one instance. The way in which he died is hard to deal with as well, he was on a industrial elevator and decapitated, that's a horrible way to go. I want to know he felt nothing, the kids want to know he instantly went to God. This is all so very hard, never thought I'd be a widow at 32. Never thought we wouldn't grow old together. It's hard to think straight. I miss him and love him so much!

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Comment by Bethany Loux on July 4, 2014 at 11:57pm: Today has been so hard, it was always the holiday for my husband and the kids. Them not having their dad there for the first time was the scariest, saddest evening I have lived through. I am having a hard time finding a reason to go on!

Comment by georgia on July 3, 2014 at 11:17pm: Bethany, I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your anguish ,and deep pain it is unbearable .it will be hard but you will do it one step at a time.
I am sure your husband went straight to heaven.
I wish I could give you a hug and sit and cry with you,because crying helps or I should say it helps me.
God I am so sorry for your loss.i relate.

Comment by Bethany Loux on July 3, 2014 at 10:54pm: God I feel like there is no one else in this world that can relate to what I am going through . I don't know who to talk to or how to express my pain. The pain I feel for my children is too much to even explain. The anger that he was taken from us so young seems so unfair, why does my baby have to start school for the first time without her daddy to tell her how proud he is . I feel so desperate!

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