I understand how you feel. I lost my mother to a very aggressive cancer on August 14, 2012. Since then I have had to deal with my codependent father, and I have a similar situation in regards to finances. My mother was only 56 when she died, and her 93 year old grandmother died 5 days and 12 hours after her. Both deaths were very sudden and has been increasingly hard to deal with. However, I can occasionally make myself feel a little better by focusing on good memories or try to remember that my mother and grandmother are in a better place. As to the financial matters, I remember having the same problem with my paternal grandparents death as I do now, and my advice to you is the same I give myself: No amount of money is worth fighting over and it won't bring your loved one back, and the people that are going to hold a grudge and continue to fight are not the sort of person you need in your life right now. I hope you are able to find some comfort. I will not lie to you like most people will and say it will get better, but it will eventually get easier to cope. I still miss my paternal grandmother who died seven years ago, but now I don't cry. Instead, I visit her grave, and usually when I miss her is when I am not sure what to do and need advice...so I imagine what she would say and go with it. You say your father was very independent, imagine what he would say to you that would be helpful to you and your family at this moment. I hope I have been helpful. The best to you. It will get easier, give yourself time. :)
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