I lost my father, Donald, on June 12, 2012. His kidneys were failing, and they inserted peritoneal port into his abdomen to prepare him for dialysis. Unfortunately, it port became infected and he had a raging internal infection. The hospital released him even though he was still suffering from high fevers. He died one day later in his living room. Daddy was 86 years old. He had been extremely Independent his entire life, so we were blessed in that way. Of course, as usual, there were legalities to deal with after daddy died. My family has become fractured more than it ever has been, and that has been extremely hard to deal with. I find it unbelievable that death can bring such division to a family. I not only lost my father, but I've lost my entire family since June. I don't feel like I can grieve any longer in front of my husband, because he's already over it. Even though he says nothing when I have my emotional moments, I can tell that he's very tired of the whole situation at this point. This is my first entry, and I have no idea whether the site can help me through my morning, but at this point I have nowhere else to turn.

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Comment by Krystal on October 12, 2012 at 6:59pm

I understand how you feel. I lost my mother to a very aggressive cancer on August 14, 2012. Since then I have had to deal with my codependent father, and I have a similar situation in regards to finances. My mother was only 56 when she died, and her 93 year old grandmother died 5 days and 12 hours after her. Both deaths were very sudden and has been increasingly hard to deal with. However, I can occasionally make myself feel a little better by focusing on good memories or try to remember that my mother and grandmother are in a better place. As to the financial matters, I remember having the same problem with my paternal grandparents death as I do now, and my advice to you is the same I give myself: No amount of money is worth fighting over and it won't bring your loved one back, and the people that are going to hold a grudge and continue to fight are not the sort of person you need in your life right now. I hope you are able to find some comfort. I will not lie to you like most people will and say it will get better, but it will eventually get easier to cope. I still miss my paternal grandmother who died seven years ago, but now I don't cry. Instead, I visit her grave, and usually when I miss her is when I am not sure what to do and need advice...so I imagine what she would say and go with it. You say your father was very independent, imagine what he would say to you that would be helpful to you and your family at this moment. I hope I have been helpful. The best to you. It will get easier, give yourself time. :)

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