A friend from another site wrote how she was on this merry go round, I know what she means but mine is a roller coaster, (which I have always literally hated them...went on one when I was about 6 yrs old with my dad and when we got off I was told I was white as a sheet and my dad asked if I wanted to go and do it again...they say I just looked at him with that wide eyed 6 yr old look and said in a very tiny voice, "OK", thankfully he didn't take me back on it and I have never been on one again until now). The slow ride to the top, when you think you are doing pretty good then all of a sudden that downward dip, spiraling around and around tossing you upside down, a short climb up then flying back down so fast sometimes you don't know what hit you. I wish mine was like a merry go round, those I could jump off at anytime but this roller coaster of emotions, you can yell and scream stop all you want and they never stop that roller coaster to let you off. I'm on one of those downward spirals and can't seem to slow it down and just have a nice ride for a while. It happens more and more now, the smooth riding but when you start climbing one of those slopes so far up and then down you go, you can't stop them. I hate them so much. Yes, it is somewhat better but I have a feeling this roller coaster ride is my life now and there is nothing I can do about it. Just hopefully those downward dips get farther and farther apart....I guess we will see. Hugs to all of you here, you have helped me tremendously and I am very thankful for each and every one of you.