It has been 9 months since my husband passed unexpectedly and suddenly after turning 70.  He had surgery to remove an upper left lobe of his lung which had a stage 1 cancerous spot smaller than a dime.  The dr assured him by removing the lobe he would need no chemo or radiation and the cancer would be gone.  It was a little more tedious surgery but he was recovering nicely according to all the tests.  He complained the entire 6 days in ICU of severe heartburn which he has but not to that extent.  On day 5 he begged me all day long to get him out and get him to his bed with his dog.  I would have hired an RN anything and dr would not agree.  His youngest daughter from AZ arrived at 2:30 pm, I stayed until 4:30 pm and told her I would return about 4 am the next day and she could take the car and go home as we were doing shifts.  At 4 am on day 6 I was getting ready and she called totally unintelligible hysterically crying and all I could get was "crash cart" and I was on a run with my daughter and 18 year old granddaughter following.  We ran to his room and I knew it was too late.  The dr asked if I wanted then to continue and I told them no.  It was unexpected, sudden and was a massive heart attack.  The last 9 months are a blur and half of me is gone and my life has no purpose.  We had so many plans.  The pain is like nothing I ever had before and never goes away.  I have been told the loss of a spouse is the worst ever and I agree.  I hope to read some things on here that may help.  My beloved has left me and I love and miss him more every day.



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