12/14/93: The first time I met him. This was the first time and so far the only time, in my life that I had butterflies in my stomach. The first kiss we shared was so innocent, I knew at that point he was in my life forever, wheather relationship or friend. The first hug he gave me I instantly felt safe. And so it was from this point foward he was in my life until 12/14/99. I can't tell you how much I miss those days..... When I felt so safe and loved. His anniversary is coming up and each day of my life since he's been gone, I think of all those times we had regardless of the arguments or love he excepted me for me, never once tried changing me. That's what I miss most is really how much he did care. It's sad to know that I've realized this since he's been gone and not when he was here. I was so young then, I should have listen to my heart and not my friends or family. There's no grave for me to vist only his urn, which is mom has. I haven't even been able to stop by the last place he took his breathe, the last place he saw before he left. I believe that when a person is taken so quickly that they don't even realize they are dead so I often wonder if he still lurks around the area he last was, just waiting and wondering, feeling so loss as I do here, alone. I wonder if he whispered good bye when i was sleeping that night. I wonder if he see's my tears, and feel my heartache. I wonder if he wonders

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