If my love could have saved Mom & Dad they would have lived 4ever.

My Mom and Dad are both deceased, I lost my Dad July 26,2009, 5 months after that I lost my mom Jan 5,2010 they both died at age 58 Mom was overwhelmed with losing my father that she died from cardiac arrest which was brought on by constant stress.Sometimes I feel like Im in a nightmare! their deaths were so sudden they were healthy, they were very good parents even in my adulthood and my life centered around them cause I don't have kids. They were married for 32 years. My mom's mother is still living I have not heard from her, she didnt even call when mom died she attended the funeral but didnt hug me or anything! not even a comforting word.My own grandmother refused to get out at the burial cite, she said they were only going to say a few words and put Mom in the ground! I feel abandoned!! I am overwhelmed with grief, I think i was in shock the first couple of months but now i'm really realizing this is my new reality. I don't feel like I belong in this world without them, they took a big part of me with them. My boyfriend has recently been actn cold towards me, by not calling or when I need to see him he does'nt come by i've been begging for attention to stay sane, I don't think he understands grief I know its been 8 months but I can't stop crying, I can't control how I feel. I feel like i've lost everything sadly even my will to live. I just want to be with my parents again!!! ,I just want it the way it was, Mom & Dad were all i needed, I don"t think im going to make it without them.


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Comment by Penny Hickman on January 25, 2012 at 2:34pm

Tonya, my heart is with you. I too lost my parents last April within 4 days of one another. My father we were expecting to pass. He was in a great deal of pain and no longer mobile. My Mother however, she passed very unexpectedly.I have never dealt with the grief and pain I feel with the loss of the two most important people in my life.

My life is so empty without them and I miss them so much. I am not sure what my purpose in life is anymore. I feel like I am in a huge hole and keep falling deeper and deeper. I have lost me


My husband and daughter are trying to be supportive but I am closed off to them. My heart is with you and I wanted you to know that there are people that know how you feel.

Comment by Corrine Cayton on January 12, 2011 at 1:17am
Tonya, bless you. I'm so sorry for the pain you have in your heart. Losing your parents so close and so sudden is terrible enough for you. To add to this pain is your trying to understand why other people act the way they do. I know from experience that when you think family and your most intimate friends will understand and come together during this grief you share and they disappoint, it only adds to the confusion and pain that losing the people we love already brings. I am experiencing a living nightmare with my fiance's son. I lost my man Oct. 24th suddenly and very unexpectedly. The relationship I thought I had with Joe's son has turned so ugly. It has brought much pain anger and hurt. I have to put this behind me and honor this man that I was to marry. I understand and hear your desperation and it breaks my heart for you. I do not understand the reason why we lose the people we love so much. I pray for peace for you and I do believe that you will come to the realization that you are loved and needed here on this earth for the time that you and I and all are given. I'm starting a new book, Heaven is for Real. I don't know how spirtual you are or if you are. I believe we will see our loved ones again. That has been what keeps me from going into a dark place in my heart that I dont want to go. You could look this book up on Amazon.com. You can read some of this true story and possibly be inspired to read the entire book. I will keep you in my thoughts Tonya. You will get through this. One day at a time.
Comment by Jacqueline on December 9, 2010 at 4:46pm


Comment by kerrie on November 30, 2010 at 12:05pm
i lost my grandparents that were my parents the same time.. i no how u feel i am looking for someone to help me feel better to... i dont have neone but my son...and my cats and im sooo streessed out i feel like the stress will kill me.. and ur boyfriend is only distant cause he doesnt know how to cope with you the way you are..... i went thru that tooo write me or txt me if u need to 302 444 2542
Comment by Janice Spring on September 6, 2010 at 4:01pm
Oh, I am so sorry for this huge loss in your life, still so fresh and so close together. You WILL make it because for whatever reason, your light is still needed in this world. I love your comment, I have printed on one of my son's pictures, "If love alone could have saved you, you would have lived forever." You lost your parents and I lost my child. Some things that helped me when my son died two years ago were some of the writings by James Van Praagh and the book Love Lives On by Dr. Louis LaGrand. Please visit Dr. LaGrand's website at www.extraordinarygriefexperiences.com. I think you will find comfort there. Also, I gave an excerpt from James Van Praagh to some of my son's friends who were not able to cope well with his death. It says, "Though the grief process is painful, it is part of the experience of life that we will all inevitably go through. We will all feel the loss of someone we love. We must realize we will survive. Even though it may not be clear right now, your light on this earth is still needed. There is no one else on earth like you because you are indeed unique! People need you! The loss you suffer, no matter how great, does not compare to the greatness that is you. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a big hug. Tell yourself how much you love and appreciate yourself for being alive and having the strength & courage to go through such an incredible adventure called life!" If the boyfriend can't be supportive, try to get your needs met elsewhere, do you have Hospice? If you do they offer wonderful grief support (even if you parents were not under their care), call them. I thought I would die when my son died, too, or I guess I wish I could have gone with him. But I have made it almost 2 years and when I get really down, I know he would want me to go on and take care of his little sister and his Dad. While it is healthy and proper for you to grieve and there is no set time for such things, remember what your Mom & Dad would want for you which would be your happiness. If you want to send me your email I have other material you might want to read that helped me; I could email it to you. I am just a Mom in Bradenton, FL. janicespring@mac.com Hold on, you can make it!

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