this is a different kind of loss. My job will be ending in a couple of months. I have let it settle in, that this is coming. I have slowly, gathered my thoughts about this and prayed. Am currently praying to St. Joseph The Worker, (for employment). I still am having a hard time wanting to look for a job, now that I have to. I was looking for a job since I was starting after 2 1/2 years getting to the point where I felt was not learning much more and where to learn more. Almost kind of a dead end. I learned a lot on my previous job, a lot of job experience and knowledge added to my already knowledge from my past 30 years of employment and college.
I really feel like an idiot for settling with the job that I currently have and will be losing along with my co-workers. I have much more experience than what I was doing. It was nice to just exist and have something easy.
My last job I really like, was with insurance. I acquired a lot of knowledge. I was layed off of this job along with others. I took a little time off to just relax since I was somewhat stressed. My parents went to be together, mom first then Dad a few months later after having surgery. I ran myself ragged afterwards, not wanting to stay home. I attended a lot of grief support workshops and services etc. It was helpful.
Now it is time for me to move forward. I am having a hard time putting my resume out there under specific companies for employment. It is out there just have to be specific. I just seem to find every thing else to do. Now I need to get going and am wondering how my step back in job skills will affect my change to receive really good employment. It was a nice break and really am now want to get back into insurance and learning more. I have sat still with knowledge sort of, for that past almost 3 years.
I've had a lot of thoughts about the job that I have; mostly what am I doing there. I have more skills that I am using. I should be a supervisor or a manager. I really struggled with this a lot, a lot of embarassment, feeling like an idiot, and like I am wasting all my past experience, skills, knowledge that I attained. Nobody knows this, I have kept this all between myself & God. So maybe now losing this job is a blessing from God. I have prayed and meditated on this a lot.
Even though during the course of this employment I was discerning my call to be a religious. So in one area I have grown sufficiently.
Thank you for allowing me to voice my thoughts.
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