My Mom died on April 7, 2011 and even though we knew it was a non-curable cancer, I expected her to be her thru the summer - well, she was diagnosed in Sept of 2010 and was given a year at that - so mom opted not to have chemo as she wanted to live her time out without to many complications that chemo could bring on - her lung cancer spread to her brain and she did elect to do radiation so that she could manage that pain. Fifteen days of non-stop radiation - she lost her beautiful silver hair that she loved so much but we told her she still looked beautiful - we had an early Thanksgiving and to the amazement of the docs, celebrated Christmas as well. She began to take a turn for the worse around January when my husband and I just needed some "time away" and we checked on her everyday via phone and had my brother checking on her she assured us she was fine. We went to check on her when we got home at her apartment and found her semi-conscious on the floor and from that day forward it began the downward spiral. She was hospitalized for a week and sent home reluctantly and when we brought her to her apartment, she collapsed in her doorway - 911 was called again and she stayed overnite in the ER and sent home the next day to a rehab center that she spent approx 3 weeks at while my husband and I prepared for her to live with us. I had always promised my mom that she would never be put in a nursing home as long as I could provide for her. She stayed with us for three beautiful weeks before one Monday she took a turn for the worse. My husband and son had watched the UConn woman's final game on sunday and at midnite said goodnite - Monday she took a turn for the worse and she began her "final four" days to prepare for the Lord. I never left her side at the hospital. People kept telling me " you need to go home" etc. I did not want my mom to die alone. I was able to hold her hand right up to her last breath. I grieve every day because I miss her soooooo much. Not only was she my mom, but also my Bud. I am the youngest of three children, me being the only girl, so we had such a special bond that nobody else can experience. I need to know how to get on with this. All her "stuff" is everywhere in my house. I go in her room we made up for her and can still smell her. I am actually wearing some of her clothes as my mom was very well dressed always. I cannot stop crying and have awful thoughts going thru my mind day snd nite - please - how long does this continue?